Yes, dear readers, after two torturous weeks without your beloved caption series, we are back and better than ever*! I realize that, since it's been a while and your caption muscles may very well have atrophied, it may take a shitty caption or two or four to really get back in the swing of things. But you know what? That's okay! No one** is going to judge you. Seriously, go ahead! Make as many captions as you'd like! I'm not here to stifle your caption creativity. No way, man. Harsh your mell? Not I, bro! Not I.
And if you're one of those people who need incentive in order to, you know, perform, well, you're in luck this week, pumpkin. This week only I am giving away a very exciting prize. I know, I know, I always say I'm giving something away but then it turns out to be something ridiculous like oxygen and clouds or a 2- to 3-minute playtime session with my cat, Blue. Listen, I know. You're skeptical. Who wouldn't be? I'm a big fat liarhead.
But this week and this week only I really am giving away, to the first place winner, an autographed copy of this entry. Seriously. I will print out this entry (possibly even a color copy if I'm not feeling too lazy), autograph it and send it to you*** so you can frame it or decoupage it or whatever the hell it is that you do with all of my other entries that you print out.
* same dumb shit
*** Remember how I just told you I'm a big fat liarhead? Yeah. Don't be waiting by your mail, is all I'm sayin', okay? I've never really possessed that skill many refer to as "follow-through."