Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Funniest Blog You're Not Reading Because You Suck

You may know him as the commenter Poobomber here on Blogger. He used to be Doorknob_Dan. If you're not visiting his blog, The Other Side of Normal, well, then, you're missing out, esse. Seriously. Sure he's been known to post up to 81 times a day, but that just means you'll never be bored over there. Go check out today's post about Canada's glorious performance at the Summer Olympics. It made me laugh and laugh and laugh. You'll love it. Promise. Go. Git. Be on your way!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Monday's Caption

Yes, dear readers, after two torturous weeks without your beloved caption series, we are back and better than ever*! I realize that, since it's been a while and your caption muscles may very well have atrophied, it may take a shitty caption or two or four to really get back in the swing of things. But you know what? That's okay! No one** is going to judge you. Seriously, go ahead! Make as many captions as you'd like! I'm not here to stifle your caption creativity. No way, man. Harsh your mell? Not I, bro! Not I.

And if you're one of those people who need incentive in order to, you know, perform, well, you're in luck this week, pumpkin. This week only I am giving away a very exciting prize. I know, I know, I always say I'm giving something away but then it turns out to be something ridiculous like oxygen and clouds or a 2- to 3-minute playtime session with my cat, Blue. Listen, I know. You're skeptical. Who wouldn't be? I'm a big fat liarhead.

But this week and this week only I really am giving away, to the first place winner, an autographed copy of this entry. Seriously. I will print out this entry (possibly even a color copy if I'm not feeling too lazy), autograph it and send it to you*** so you can frame it or decoupage it or whatever the hell it is that you do with all of my other entries that you print out.

* same dumb shit
** everyone
*** Remember how I just told you I'm a big fat liarhead? Yeah. Don't be waiting by your mail, is all I'm sayin', okay? I've never really possessed that skill many refer to as "follow-through."

Makes Me Laugh (#93)

I cannot stop fucking laughing at this. I saw it four days ago now and I'm still laughing. Seriously.

And I gotta say it wouldn't be nearly as funny without the look on that kid's face. Whoever photoshopped that junk is effing BRILLIANT. Well done.

McCain's Recollection Problem

This week in an interview with Politico.com, Presidential candidate John McCain was unable to recall how many homes he currently owns. According to insider reports gathered from the campaign trail, McCain is often unable to recall other day-to-day facts, including:

  • Where he placed those damn reading glasses
  • Whether or not he took his fiber pill at breakfast
  • The names of his grandchildren
  • Whether Matlock comes on at 7:00 or 7:30
  • What nights that $5.99 early bird special is running at Lindy's Diner
  • That brand of arthritis cream that works better than that other brand
  • How to open those email Internet messages from his son with the vacation pictures
  • Where he put that 1,500 Word Search Puzzles! workbook
  • If he ever deposited those coins he rolled from that jar on the dresser
  • Whether he checked the washer fluid in the Buick the last time he got gas
  • What he did with that 2-for-1 breakfast coupon he clipped from Tuesday's Penny Saver
  • What code to press to make a phone call on that damn cellular telephone
  • Whether or not he put that birthday money underneath the mattress
  • If he told Cindy to just rinse out those Ziploc bags because they're still perfectly fine to use again

Friday, August 22, 2008

What Are You Talking About?

Of course this is Falwless's blog. It's certainly not Mathdude pretending to be Falwless! Where'd you get that idea?